There are three main sub-ingredients to how and why we slide away from our higher gifts,  lose our capacity to be virtuous, and live below our potential.  

Part 1 - Poor Parenting / Trauma and Disappointing Life Experiences 

(Write this sub-ingredient on a slot on the Ingredient Wheel)

(Participant Cards)

• Bad things happen to good people.

• Life throws at us great challenges which are hard to overcome.

• In some cases people suffer all kinds of emotional trauma due to not being cared for properly or loved the way we were meant to be, and other difficult life circumstances.

• Being unloved,made to feel invisible, unheard, disrespected, rejected or victimized can change us.

• It can cause us to move from trusting to distrusting, from loving and compassionate to resentful and angry - spiteful for what others have and for what we do not have.

• There is pure evil in this world. 

• However naturally gifted we may be, the reality is that it is hard to stay positive in the face of great obstacles and traumas. 

• When the light goes out, it can go out for a long time, even permanently. 

(All Together) 

When we are born, there are no bad people. There are only people who lose their way, and most often it is at no fault of their own. We should have empathy for everyone because in most cases they have gone through something traumatic that we didn't.  

Part 2 -Unwanted Negative Thoughts and Anxiety 

(Write this sub-ingredient on the wheel)

(Participant Cards)

• A certain amount of Anxiety occurs in all of us. It’s built into our nervous systems, and its completely normal.

• All of us, at times, also have unwanted negative thoughts which we don’t ask for, and which come out of nowhere. 

• This is also completely normal, but it doesn't feel that way.

• We have to work very hard to overcome these negative thoughts, but it’s not easy.

• Unwanted anxiety and negative thoughts hurts and confuses millions of Americans.

• Lets look at around at each, lets have empathy for each other because: 

(All Together Please)

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about” 

 Ian Maclaren

(Back to the teacher) It’s simply not easy being human. Having unwanted negative thoughts, negative self-talk, and self-doubt is hardwired into our nervous systems. Negative thoughts can fill our brains all day long.   

Part 3 - “Fight or Flight” and Self Protection Instincts 

(Write sub-ingredient on the wheel)

• Certain primal instincts which were useful years ago, but not so much today are still ingrained inside a part of our brain. 

• Our “fight or flight” instincts cause us to fear other people in irrational ways, and to adopt strong moral positions designed to counter the exaggerated risk we feel. 

• “We make our first judgments rapidly, and we are dreadful at seeking out evidence that might disconfirm those initial judgments.” (Haidt Righteous Mind P95-96). Intuitions come first” (P115)“We often use reasoning not to find the truth but to invent arguments to support our deep and intuitive beliefs.” (P37)

• “We can easily find ways to explain away our selfish acts and cling to the illusion that we are better than others … setting the stage for endless disputes with other people who feel equally over-entitled. ” (67-68) 

• “We are selfish primates who long to be a part of something larger and nobler than ourselves.” (Haidt Righteous Mind. P 381) 

• These primal instincts make us obsessively concerned with creating a meaningful identity, with making our mark in the world, impressing other people, to be seen, and heard, to feel important regardless of the cause. We can make the same connections to ideas that hurt society. 

The slide is often gradual and invisible and it’s a matter of degrees - we all slide to one extent or the other. We often learn too late the truth about the difficulties of just being human, and how hard it is to stay emotionally well: 

Until now! 

(Participant Cards)

• In the last few years, doctors have identified to a scientific degree of certainty why and how we slide.The discoveries in the last few years are revolutionary breakthroughs - knowledge about how the human mind works- which we never had before!

• Today our society has the tools and practices which can prevent the loss of un-regulated and in-balanced thinking - in all of us. 

• We have never been more equipped to teach people how to bring out their best, and limit their worst, and how to avoid becoming overly self righteous and closed minded - even in the face of life's great challenges! 

Quotations: 

“Once a human mind closes, it's very hard to open”   

“When we don’t use our gifts or we lose them.”  

Resources:

 LTM chapters 3, 7 and 10- Breakthrough. 

David Rosman: Thriving With Anxiety.  Reading for young adults to prepare themselves for natural anxiety which occurs in all of us. Teachers Introduce whatever child mental health awareness, and SEL information here. For example CASEL Model.Suggested readings: Dr. Jonathan Haidt